I get it and I appreciate the logic. Here’s what I have to say about that: while you may not be able to control what happens externally, you are 100% in charge of the way you react to what’s happening. And that means you are in control of the decisions you make today.
What you can control
I often find that the literal meaning of a phrase keeps us stuck trying to incorporate an exact interpretation. It doesn’t have to be that way.
It’s not about controlling the external situations that are happening around you. It is about controlling your own narrative — how you react to these events, and what you do with your time and energy while these things are happening.
It’s easy in a world full of distractions to forget yourself in an abyss of information, when so many forms of media are fighting for your attention. But you can control what you give your time and energy to, and that is key to getting the results you desire.
Reflection is a lifelong process
But when I think about it, it is precisely why, as a lifestyle designer, I get to use my skills even more and find creative solutions to make anything happen. As a lifestyle designer, I also know that life is full of curveballs, and adaptation is our friend. It’s one of the most valuable skills/traits we have as humans. We have been adapting since we were born.
#1. Ask yourself this question:
There’s no right or wrong answer. One person’s experience will not be the same as another’s experience. This will just help you figure out if it was the pandemic (and everything around it) that caused you to lose control of what you did with your time, or if this is a pattern you’ve seen in yourself and the pandemic made you realize that it’s time for you to make changes regarding the way you use your time and energy.
You may argue that the pandemic disrupted everything around you. Yet life goes on.
Or, It may very well be that you are in total control right now and are still yearning for something else, even if you don’t know what that is just yet and feel like 2020 won’t let you achieve anything new. It’s all about perspective though; there are people now, creating things they only dreamed of before, in a situation they never imagined.
This is not to ignore the very painful situations we have experienced so far this year. The losses we have had during the pandemic and the social unrest that continues, brought to light many issues that have been bubbling under the surface of our lives for years.
I know loss all too well and grew up with a feeling of great uncertainty, as if all that could go wrong, would. For many years, I would argue that I had no control of what life sent my way and therefore was stuck with the cards handed to me. Yet the drive in me, and my soul perhaps, knew that I still had a bright future. I deserved living to my fullest potential, and eventually would be able to help others discover how to do this as well.
The long road that led to these deep reflections made me realize the only options I had were to stay in the same place (mostly mentally, circling around the same habits that kept me in the same place, thus reflecting my physical world), or to move forward into the present moment, which would bring joy, fulfillment and peace. Yes, there were challenges, but life was never meant to be a linear road.
The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020, in and of itself, is not responsible for everything that I have experienced thus far this year. The way I managed every situation is.
The plans had to pivot but the drive and desire to succeed did not. I just had to find creative ways to continue managing my life based on these new conditions. I also decided to look out for new opportunities and not let fear take control of me so that I could be open to new and exciting possibilities.
What is your inner self telling you to do? What’s that thing you’d like to change or do? Do you truly believe that the pandemic is the reason why you are not doing so? It if isn’t 100 percent the reason why, then is there another way to achieve that goal or dream?
Getting Clear
#2. Ask yourself this question and take your time to fully answer it:
In order to get what we desire, it’s important to get clear. This is something I help clients figure out time and time again because, in a world full of distractions, we will encounter enough images and pieces of information to drain our mental capacity and lull us into inactivity.
And clarity is key in getting what you want.
I dare say most people do not sit down for just half an hour to get clear on how their desires or goals for the year can be mapped out.
How will you get to your destination without knowing where you’d like to go?
Take some time to envision what the rest of 2020 looks like for you, even with external situations you can’t control. You will find that what you yearn for is not something you have to search for externally, but something that already exists within.
Moving forward
#3. Ask yourself:
Do you really want to? Then what is holding you back? Is it the first half of the year? How so? Or is it a fact that you cannot move forward in 2020 because of the past?
You may ask: But what about new challenges that may still arise?
I will answer: What about the challenges you have already faced and are handling?
Now let’s set you up for success. But first, just one more thing. I need you to believe that you can achieve whatever it is you’re desiring. Your brain and heart need the signals to act on the opportunities and situations that will help you achieve them.
After envisioning yourself at the end of the year with your goals accomplished and figuring out why this is important to you, the next step will be to plan how you are going to achieve your goals. Don’t be scared, you don’t have to plan a full year yet.
This is the time for you to take small steps to accomplish the bigger picture. Let’s start with setting your quarterly goals (the next three months). Where do you see yourself in the next three months? Where have you spent your time? What has brought you joy?
It’s very important for you to write down these goals and break them down into small actionable items that you can work on every day. You need to be able to see these goals, see the progress that you are making and the upcoming tasks that you need to accomplish. I’m such a believer of this process that I created The Modern Woman Planner Q3 to track my goals and help others do so. If you’re feeling inspired, order your copy or use something you have on hand. Just make sure you follow through!
Committing to Yourself
Don’t let yourself fall for the scarcity mentality of not having “enough time.” One of my specialties is working with women who think they don’t have any time, only to realize that they do have enough time, they just needed to start managing what they did better, so that they could work on what they truly want. You can be one of these women. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
If you’d like to work with me one-on-one and/or in a group setting to get personalized attention on your goals while having support, check out The Modern Woman Mastermind HERE.
I’ll dare to say this: the pandemic cannot stop everyone from pushing through and rising to another level in their lives. If others can do it, so can you!
Because the one thing you can control is your mind.
